Trying to get pregnant again after age 35, or after a second marriage, isn’t just about timing or biology. It’s about hope, healing, and rewriting the narrative you probably thought you had already finished.
In my practice as a Divorce and Co-Parenting Specialist, so many women come to me in this situation and say one of two things. First, it’s typically, “after my divorce, I’m not sure I want to have another child.” Secondly, I often hear, “am I too old to do this again? Have I missed my chance? Is it selfish to want this again?”
The truth is, many women spend their lives putting everyone else first. It’s not until you start listening to yourself—your needs, your desires, your truth—that you realize you deserve more. This journey isn’t just about fertility. It’s about believing that joy, love, and second chances are possible at any age.
RELATED: How We Conceived Our Rainbow Babies: Fertility After Miscarriage and Age 35+
Recognizing age-related fertility anxiety
Age-related fertility anxiety is a silent, yet deeply felt concern that creeps in with every passing birthday for those hoping to conceive. It often begins as an internal clock ticking a little louder during doctor visits, family gatherings, or scrolling past another pregnancy announcement on social media.
While medical advancements have expanded the age range for safe conception, cultural narratives haven’t caught up. There's still immense pressure to start and complete a family within a narrow window of time, and when that window seems to be closing, anxiety can take hold.
Common emotional symptoms - Doom scrolling, comparison traps, self blame
This kind of anxiety doesn’t show up quietly. It manifests in doom-scrolling late at night, endlessly searching forums for success stories, and spiraling when reading about celebrities having babies at 45.
It’s the subtle self-blame, the wondering if waiting too long was a mistake, or if your body is failing you. It's feeling like everyone else is doing it "right" while you're stuck in "what if” or worse, “they can and I can’t.”
Self assessment questions: Mild worry vs. clinical anxiety
If this sounds familiar, ask yourself: Is this a passing worry, or is it interfering with your ability to function and feel joy? Are you losing sleep? Avoiding conversations with your partner? Canceling plans because you're emotionally drained?
If so, it might be more than just stress, and it's absolutely worth reaching out for support. This is where a good therapist, coach, or even just an honest conversation can help shift things.
RELATED: Sleep and fertility: Expert tips for restful sleep in each trimester of pregnancy
Mindset shifts to beat fertility stress over 35
We can’t always control our bodies, but we can work on how we talk to ourselves and how we process the road ahead. You have to reframe what fertility means to you. It’s not just about numbers or timing anymore. It’s about intention, partnership, and grace.
Reframing the “ticking clock” narrative
That infamous clock? It's not broken, but it's also not the only measure of possibility. Instead of hearing "time is running out," Tell yourself this: "My time is now." There is power in owning the chapter you're in, not the one others think you should be in.
Daily micro habits (breathwork, visualization, gratitude stacking)
Little habits will help ground you: five minutes of breathwork before appointments. Visualization of what your family might look like, and not just as a baby, but 5, 10, 20 years from now.
There’s also Gratitude Stacking, a journaling practice where I list three things I’m grateful for related to my journey. These micro-habits don’t change the biology of your body, but they absolutely change your experience of it.
Manifestation Journal
Fertility friendly journaling prompts from my practice
Here are some journaling prompts I give clients:
- What would I say to a friend feeling what I’m feeling?
- How would I treat my body if I trusted it completely?
- What does success look like to me beyond just a pregnancy test?
Writing your thoughts down is a way of processing the chaos. And sometimes it's the only place where you can be fully, unapologetically honest.
RELATED: What to do when you're stressed about the stress of TTC
Relationship & intimacy tools when TTC at 35+
Trying to conceive in a second marriage comes with its own set of emotional layers. You're not just building a family; you're blending histories, healing past wounds, and learning how to talk through things that might have felt taboo in your first marriage.
Language that connects: Scripts to replace “why can’t you relax?”
One of the hardest parts? When well-meaning partners say things like, "Just relax and it'll happen." Here's a better approach: "I know this is a lot for you. How can I support you today?" Empathy opens doors that logic and platitudes never will.
Scheduling sex without killing the spark: Is it possible?
Yes, sex on a schedule is real, and yes, it can feel clinical. But it can also be a beautiful act of partnership. Try rituals to keep intimacy alive: light a candle, share a glass of wine, talk about anything other than cycles and test results before you head to bed.
Navigating partner guilt, performance pressure & desire dips
It's normal for both people to feel pressure. Sometimes your partner feels helpless, or worse, like the fun part of your connection has been replaced by calendars and stress. Talk about it. Make space for guilt, for performance issues, for disconnection, and then make a plan to reconnect.
Whether you're just starting to consider trying for a baby after 35, or you're deep in the trenches of tracking and timing, know this: you're not alone, and you're not broken. Fertility is not a linear path, and it's certainly not one-size-fits-all. Give yourself permission to slow down, to ask questions, and to honor your story.
RELATED: The Power of Words: Reframing Fertility, Pregnancy and Postpartum Support for Women
A note from WeNatal on trying to conceive after 35
Our founders welcomed babies later in life, so we know firsthand that trying to conceive after 35 can stir up both hope and hesitation. Michelle highlights what we’ve seen in our community: age is one factor but not the whole story. Mindset shifts, micro-habits, and compassionate communication with your partner can quiet fertility anxiety and help you move forward with clarity.
While none of us can control outcomes, you can optimize the inputs:
- Nutrition: steady blood sugar, protein at every meal, and colorful plants to support overall reproductive wellness.
- Lifestyle: restorative sleep, daily movement, breathwork, and a supportive community.
- Targeted supplementation: smart, evidence-informed nutrients to fill gaps.
If you’re preparing for pregnancy, WeNatal Egg Quality+ offers targeted support for women focused on nourishing healthy eggs during the preconception window. For comprehensive care, WeNatal for Her provides 3-in-1 prenatal support. You can use preconception, through pregnancy, and into the postpartum period, because your needs don’t end at a positive test.
Wherever you are on this journey of having your first baby, or blending families, your story isn’t on a deadline. We’re honored to walk beside you with tools, education, and products that support mind, body, and hope at every age.
RELATED: Pregnancy after 35: Why More Women Are Having Babies Later
