50% of the equation: A Father’s Day conversation with Shawn on male fertility, sperm health, and becoming a girl dad

Some interviews feel buttoned up from the beginning, and some feel like you are sitting across from someone who is going to tell you the truth exactly as he sees it. This conversation with Shawn was the second kind in the best possible way.

It was funny, emotional, honest, a little unfiltered, and full of the kind of real-life perspective that the fertility conversation needs more of, especially from men. For so long, fertility has been talked about as if it lives almost entirely in the woman’s body. Women are often the ones tracking cycles, taking supplements, changing their diets, booking appointments, reading every article, managing the emotional weight, and wondering what else they could be doing to support a healthy pregnancy.

But as Shawn would tell you plainly, that is only half the story.

At WeNatal, we have always believed that men are 50% of the fertility equation. Not because we want to add pressure or shame to an already emotional journey, but because male health matters, sperm health matters, and the way men care for themselves before conception can play a meaningful role in the family they are hoping to build.

For Shawn, that realization did not come from a textbook. It came from life with Vida, from pregnancy loss, from becoming a father, and from realizing that preparing for fatherhood starts long before someone hands you a baby and calls you Dad.

And because this conversation is being shared around Father’s Day, it feels like the perfect time to talk about what it really means for men to show up, not only for their partners, but for themselves and the future children they hope to meet one day.

The man behind the scenes

When asked how he would describe his role in the WeNatal story, Shawn did not start with a polished founder-adjacent answer, even though he does play a very real behind-the-scenes role in the company. He starts where Shawn starts, with humor, humility, and a little bit of practicality.

He is the CPA, the numbers guy, the bookkeeper, the person behind the scenes helping the business function. He was part of the four-person early grind to bring WeNatal to life. But more than anything, he is Vida’s biggest supporter, her backbone, her person, and in many ways, her “Uber”. 

There are kids to pick up, things to drop off, errands to run, and the general movement of family life happening all around him. Shawn jokes about it, but underneath the joke is something sincere. His role has always been to support Vida, to help keep things moving, and to be part of the foundation that allowed WeNatal to grow from a personal story into a movement.

In the early days, Vida and Ronit took a deeply personal experience and began asking bigger questions about fertility, pregnancy loss, and the missing conversation around male health. Shawn and Uri, Ronit’s husband and Shawn’s best friend, became part of that discovery in a very real way. 

What about the men?

Shawn jokes that he and Uri were part of the reason the conversation had to expand. There were areas of their lifestyle that needed to be overhauled, and opportunities to realize, “Okay, maybe this is not just about her.”

That openness matters, not because sperm talk was necessarily normal at the dinner table, but because the deeper questions mattered. If fertility takes two people, why was only one person being asked to change?

Why men need a seat in the fertility conversation

There is something very funny about hearing Shawn talk about how normal sperm has become as a topic in his life. He admits that talking about sex and fertility so publicly was not exactly something he imagined for himself and Vida, but once the conversation opened, he and Uri were in.

They were willing to be the first guinea pigs, as he puts it. They would do the sperm testing, take the supplements, clean up their habits, and see what happened, because even then it was obvious that the old fertility story was incomplete.

The curiosity may have started with Vida and Ronit, but as Shawn and Uri began talking, they became more curious too. They started looking at fertility, birth outcomes, sperm health, and the role men play with a new level of interest. What began as support for their wives slowly became something they were part of in their own right.

That shift is important because men are often brought into fertility conversations late, if they are brought in at all. They may be told to provide a sample, show up for an appointment, or “support their partner,” but they are not always told that their own health, habits, nutrition, stress, sleep, and environment are part of the story too.

From “just have sex, dude” to actually understanding fertility

Before trying to conceive, Shawn describes his understanding of fertility with one word: caveman.

In his mind, like in the minds of so many men, fertility seemed pretty straightforward. You have sex, lots of sex, you try to time it right, and hopefully it works. As he joked in the interview, his basic understanding was, “Just have sex, dude,” and have it as many times as possible.

But then real life became more nuanced. Vida started tracking. Apps entered the picture. Articles were read. Books were opened. Shawn asked her to send him the emails so he could follow along. At first, much of what he read was focused on how to be a good husband during pregnancy, how to support her, how to hold her hair back, rub her feet, hold the belly, keep snacks nearby, and remind himself that pregnancy can come with a lot of emotion.

That kind of support matters deeply, but over time the question became bigger. It was no longer only, “How do I support Vida once she is pregnant?” It became, “What is my part before pregnancy even begins?”

That question changed the entire frame. Fertility was no longer something happening only inside Vida’s body while Shawn stood beside her. It became something they were walking through together, with shared responsibility, shared grief, shared hope, and shared preparation.

Pregnancy loss changed the conversation

Vida has spoken openly about miscarriage, but hearing Shawn reflect on it from the father’s perspective brings another layer to the story. His words move quickly between humor and heartbreak, which is probably what made our interview feel so raw and human.

He remembers their first loss vividly. They had already named him Diesel, the only boy they conceived across four pregnancies. After finding out they were pregnant just before Mother’s Day, they shared the news with the people they loved, full of excitement and hope. Then, around Father’s Day, they lost him, making that season feel especially painful.

You created this life, you’re connected to it so deeply, then it’s gone. He had gone to every appointment. He had heard the sounds, seen the ultrasounds, and listened to Vida describe what she was experiencing in her body. Because he could not physically feel what she was feeling, he says he was living vicariously through her, trying to experience everything he could, trying to be there in the ways he knew how.

When they lost him, Shawn needed space and time. He and Vida grieved in their own ways, and then they came back together.

That part of the story is important because men do not always grieve pregnancy loss in visible ways, and they are not always given space to talk about what it felt like for them. They may not have the language to put the experience into words, or they may look like they are moving forward because they are quieter, trying to be strong, or believing their partner’s pain matters more than their own. But it was very clear that miscarriage affected Shawn too, and that the emotional attachment was real even though the pregnancy was not happening in his body.

For Shawn, the losses made fertility feel more complex, more emotional, and more shared. They also made the idea of male responsibility feel less optional. Not because miscarriage is anyone’s fault, which he is very clear about, but because once you fully understand that creating life involves both partners, it becomes much harder to pretend only one person’s health matters.

What being 50% of the fertility equation really means

When WeNatal says men are 50% of the fertility equation, Shawn does not hear that as a marketing phrase. He hears it as a call to participate.

That responsibility is not just about sperm, although he has certainly become more comfortable talking about sperm than he ever expected. It is about asking, “What am I bringing into this?”

It is about understanding that sperm health is not some separate thing floating outside daily life. It is connected to how you eat, how you sleep, how much you drink, what you are exposed to, how you handle stress, and how seriously you are willing to take the season of preparing to become a father.

Shawn says men often want to win in business, sports, competition, and whatever game is in front of them. His advice is to make fertility feel like a game worth winning.

“Don’t you want to give the best sperm in the world?” is very much a Shawn line, and honestly, it lands.

Because underneath the humor is a real challenge. If men want to give their future child the best, that does not start after the baby is born. It starts before conception.

It starts with the seed.

Male fertility and lifestyle: Cleaning up without chasing perfection

One of the most refreshing parts of Shawn’s perspective is that he does not pretend he became a flawless wellness guy overnight. He is honest about the fact that perfection was never the goal, and that the bigger shift was learning to pay attention to the choices that had become easy to ignore.

He says Vida is always in the back of his mind now, asking the kinds of questions that make him pause and think twice. Why choose the lowest-quality option when there is a better one available? Why grab fast food when you could go somewhere with better ingredients? Why not read the label? Why not choose the seed oil-free option when you can?

Over time, those questions changed how he moved through the world. He began reading labels more carefully, noticing ingredients, looking for cleaner restaurants, and thinking more intentionally about the environment inside their home. Nutrition started to feel less like a set of rules and more like one of the ways he could support his own health, his fertility, and the future family he and Vida were building.

At the same time, Shawn is quick to laugh at himself. Vida still calls him “skinny fat,” he has high cholesterol, and he knows there are plenty of things he is still working on. But that honesty is exactly why his message works. He is not telling men they have to become perfect before they are allowed to participate in the fertility conversation. He is telling them to stop pretending their choices do not matter.

Beyond conception, Shawn is quick to share that supporting male fertility started to feel a lot like supporting his overall health. He felt younger, stronger, and more connected to the basic signals his body was giving him, including the kind of “guy stuff” men may joke about but rarely talk about honestly. In true Shawn form, he laughed about the unexpected “perk” waking up, which to him felt like a sign that his body was responding and functioning well.

His bigger point was simple: men are often chasing complicated biohacks, peptides, shortcuts, and the next trend, while skipping over the foundations that actually support the body. For Shawn, the real biohack was much simpler. Start with what you are putting into your body, clean up what you can, support the basics, and take ownership of the things that are within your control.

How to get a male partner involved in fertility

One of the most common questions WeNatal hears is, “How do I get my male partner on board?” Shawn’s answer is direct, funny, and probably more useful than a perfectly polished script.

Make it a game.

Men like to win. They like to compete, improve, optimize, and feel like they have an edge, so fertility should be framed as something they can actively participate in rather than something that is happening outside of them. It is not about telling a man that something is wrong with him. It is about reminding him that he has influence.

That influence can look like taking a male prenatal, cleaning up nutrition, reducing toxins in the home, cutting back on alcohol, smoking, or marijuana, prioritizing sleep, managing stress, or simply being willing to test instead of assuming everything is fine.

He believes men need to understand that this is their child too. Their genes. Their family. Their future. Their opportunity to show up before anyone is calling them Dad.

And then comes some tough love.

If you cannot talk to your partner about this, the conversation needs to start there. Parenting will bring bigger, harder, more emotional conversations than sperm health. If a couple cannot talk honestly about health, fertility, responsibility, and preparation before conception, it does not magically get easier once there is a baby, sleep deprivation, postpartum recovery, more pressure, and an entirely new life to care for.

That may sound direct, but Shawn is not saying it to scare people. He is saying it because he believes men are capable of more, and because women should not have to carry the entire burden of preparing for pregnancy while men wait on the sidelines.

Women are tracking cycles, changing diets, taking supplements, going to appointments, managing emotions, and thinking about every possible variable. So his question to men is simple: why wouldn’t you do your part too?

No one is blaming you, and no one is saying you are the problem. We are saying you are part of the equation, because me plus you is what creates the possibility of this beautiful baby.

What holds men back from talking about sperm health?

Part of what holds men back, according to Shawn, is that many of them simply don’t know what they don’t know. They grew up with the same basic idea he had, which is that fertility is mostly about having sex at the right time and hoping things work out.

Some men are embarrassed because sperm health can feel private, awkward, or tied to masculinity in ways that make the conversation feel threatening. Some are scared of what they might find if they test. Some are defensive because they have never heard male fertility discussed as empowerment instead of blame.

And some have never really been invited into the conversation at all.

These points matter because male fertility should not be presented as a shame spiral. It should be framed as strength, responsibility, and preparation. There is nothing weak about a man caring for his health before becoming a father. There is nothing embarrassing about wanting to understand your sperm, your hormones, your nutrition, or your lifestyle. It should be something men can take pride in, because choosing to care for your health before becoming a father is one of the most responsible things a future dad can do.

Shawn’s advice to the guy who says, “My sperm is probably fine,” is simple: maybe it is, but why guess when there are things you can do to support it? Clean up your act, take the supplement, check your sperm, look at your habits, reduce what you can, and give your body a window of time to improve.

Because if the goal is to give your future child the best, guessing is not exactly the strongest strategy.

The sperm talk Shawn never expected to be having

One of the funniest parts of our interview was how naturally Shawn now talks about sperm, especially considering that he never expected this to become such a normal part of his vocabulary.

Did he ever imagine he and Vida would be publicly talking about sperm, miscarriage, sex, and male fertility this much? Absolutely not. But he also does not seem bothered by it. If anything, he has embraced the weirdness because he understands the purpose.

He has asked the awkward questions and laughed through the uncomfortable ones. He has wondered out loud about the things other men might be wondering but would never ask in a room full of people. During one conversation with our favorite male fertility expert, Dr. Ariel Moradzadeh, Shawn asked whether size mattered, and not in the way you might think. He was talking about testicles, and he still laughs about how memorable that moment was. The answer, for the record, was no.

What stuck with him most, though, is not the awkward stuff. It is the idea that men have the ability to influence sperm health within a relatively short window of time. He talks about giving yourself 60 to 90 days to clean things up, support your body, and prepare with more intention.

That timeline feels hopeful to him and means men are not stuck or powerless. They may not be able to control every outcome, and fertility will never be something anyone can perfectly manage, but there are meaningful ways to participate.

And then, in true Shawn fashion, he brings it back to the basics: take care of yourself, do not treat conception like something that happens after a wild night out, and make sure both partners are in it together. 

Or, in his words, be in it to win it.

Fatherhood starts before birth, but the delivery room matters too

For Shawn, being 50% of the equation did not stop at conception. He believes fathers should be active participants in the delivery room whenever possible, not as a visitor passively standing in the corner, but as part of the experience.

During Vida’s first birth, Shawn was fully in it. He was there for the messy parts, the emotional parts, the waiting, the cheering, the snack bags, the pads, the bodily fluids, and all the moments that make birth both wildly human and completely unforgettable.

He describes birth as magical, not because it was easy, but because it was something they did together. It was not clean or glamorous, but it was deeply connecting. He still remembers cheering Vida on, telling her she was doing a great job, and feeling like the three of them were bonded through that experience.

His second delivery experience was different because of COVID restrictions, and not being able to participate in the same way left a mark. It made him even more passionate about encouraging fathers to step in fully when they can, because fatherhood is not just providing, waiting, or celebrating after the hard part is over. 

It is every step of the way.

Becoming a girl dad changed him

When Shawn talks about being a girl dad, the whole conversation softens, and you can see his pride glowing around him. 

He and Vida have two daughters, Dalia and Davina. Dalia, he says, is his angel soul, while Davina is his mini-me, his ride or die. He loves seeing the flip side of the coin, as he puts it, because he always loved girls and now he gets to raise them.

He wants to raise the best girls in the world, the kind of girls who know their worth and one day find the right people, just as he feels he found the right girl in Vida. There is something very tender in the way he says he wishes he and Vida had met earlier, even though he knows they get to spend the rest of their lives together now, he wishes they had more time early on.

There is humor here too, of course. Shawn admits that part of him imagined being a big sports dad, traveling for tournaments and living that sideline life, but instead he has found himself in the world of dance recitals. To his surprise, he loves it. He loves it so much that he has even thought about secretly joining the parent dance performance so he can pop up on stage and surprise his daughters.

That image says a lot about Shawn as a dad. He is funny, fully invested, slightly chaotic, and deeply devoted.

How fatherhood changes men

Fatherhood has changed Shawn in ways he expected and ways he did not. He says he used to be more rugged and tough, but having children softened him. Not by making him weaker, but by making him more aware, more protective, and more patient. 

He notices the world differently now and pays more attention to what is happening around him. He thinks about the fact that his daughters are watching everything, absorbing the right things, the wrong things, the tone, the reactions, the habits, and the way he moves through life.

One of the most honest things he said is that when you become a parent, you become the answer. Your kids look to you, and even when you do not know what you are doing, you are still the person they are looking toward. Thankfully, as he joked, we are parenting in the age of AI, so at least there is help when nobody knows the answer.

He is also honest that parents are going to mess up. They are going to yell when they wish they had stayed calm, make mistakes they wish they could undo, and have days when they feel like they are not giving enough to their kids, their partner, their work, or themselves. Shawn’s advice is not to get stuck in that guilt, because children are resilient, forgiving, and often more gracious than parents give them credit for.

He does not believe in comparing fathers, because every child, every parent, and every family dynamic is different. Some dads are great on the weekends but absent during the week. Some are steady Monday through Friday and need space on Saturday. The point is not to be another version of fatherhood that looks good from the outside.

The point is to be there in the ways your family actually needs you. 

The small fatherhood rituals that become the big ones

For all the talk about fertility, pregnancy, loss, and fatherhood, some of Shawn’s favorite moments are the beautifully ordinary rituals that happen in the middle of real family life.

Wednesday mornings are late starts, so he and the girls might grab bagels or go out for breakfast together. Sometimes they go to the farmers market on Sundays. He makes an intentional effort to have father-daughter days, one-on-one, because he saw another family creating that time and knew immediately he wanted that kind of tradition too.

He laughs about the sibling negotiations that come with one daughter noticing when the other gets attention, and about trying to explain that the older child had three whole years of experiences before her sister arrived. It is funny because it is exactly the kind of family math that never fully works for a child, no matter how reasonable it sounds to the parent.

These are the moments that make fatherhood real. The bagel mornings, the farmers market walks, the recitals, the car rides, the special days, the tiny jealousies, the big feelings, and the endless logistics that somehow become the story of a family. It is messy, funny, unfair, beautiful, and impossible to explain cleanly. And in Shawn’s words, it is love.

Father’s Day after pregnancy loss

Father’s Day means something different to Shawn because of what it took to become a dad.

Their first pregnancy loss happened between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and that timing made the holiday feel heavy in a way he still remembers. Later, Father’s Day felt like a badge of honor. It marked a transition from bachelor to husband, and then from husband to father. It represented a shift in identity, a softening, and a new kind of responsibility.

Now, Father’s Day is less about one perfect day and more about family. Shawn says Vida goes all out for the people she loves, because that is who she is. She makes people feel celebrated. She loves big. But for him, the meaning of Father’s Day is rooted in something quieter: showing up for each other every day as much as they can.

That perspective feels like it came from both joy and loss.

When you know what it took to bring your children here, the ordinary moments of fatherhood do not feel so ordinary. The errands, the recitals, the snacks, the Sunday markets, the school mornings, the carpool requests, and the little hands reaching for you all become reminders of what you once hoped for.

What Shawn wants future fathers to know

If Shawn could speak directly to men who are just beginning the fertility journey, he would tell them to take it seriously sooner, not from a place of fear, shame, or panic, but from a place of empowerment.

He wishes he had known more before becoming a father. He wishes there had been more direct, practical, male-centered guidance that made fertility feel like something he could participate in instead of something happening entirely outside of him. He wishes someone had said, “Clean up your act, look at your habits, stop assuming this is only on her, and understand that what you do before conception matters.”

His message is not that men need to become perfect. In fact, he is clear that perfection is not the point. This is more like walking upstairs, as he described it, where you keep taking the next step even if you’re a few steps behind your partner. You do not have to arrive all at once, but you do have to start climbing.

What he does not want men to do is plant the seed and walk away.

That may be the most Shawn way to summarize the whole conversation. Men cannot plant the seed and walk away from the process, the pregnancy, the emotional labor, the lifestyle changes, the delivery room, the postpartum season, or the daily work of fatherhood. They do not have to do all of it perfectly, but they do have to show up honestly.

Because being 50% of the equation is not just about sperm. It is about ownership. It is about love. It is about becoming the kind of man who understands that the better he cares for himself, the better he may be able to care for the people he loves. It starts with the seed, with the body, and with taking ownership. It starts with the willingness to say, “I am part of this too.”

And if the conversation has to begin with sperm jokes to get men listening, Shawn is more than willing to go there. Because if men can talk about business, sports, money, workouts, biohacking, and winning, they can talk about fertility too. And if they can do it with a little humor, a little humility, and a little tough love, even better.

A Father’s Day note from WeNatal

At WeNatal, our mission has always been to support both partners from the very beginning, because fertility is not only a women’s health conversation and pregnancy preparation is not something one partner should have to carry alone.

Shawn’s story is a reminder that male fertility is not about blame. It is about participation, preparation, and love. It is about the future father who chooses to look at his health because he wants to support his partner, his future child, and himself. It is about the man who may not have all the answers yet, but is willing to start asking better questions.

This Father’s Day, we are celebrating the dads, the future dads, the hopeful dads, the grieving dads, and the men learning how to show up before anyone has placed a baby in their arms.

Because fatherhood does not begin the day your child is born, it begins the moment you decide to become 50% of the equation. Because, as Shawn sees it, that is part of what makes men great fathers

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