Related: How WeNatal was born

Initial joy and devastating loss

At 34, I was overjoyed to find out I was pregnant. I had always been mindful of my health—exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and taking prenatal vitamins even before conceiving. We excitedly shared the news with our family following the end of our first trimester. They were  thrilled at the idea of welcoming their first grandchild. I found myself envisioning the journey ahead alongside my best friend, Ronit, who had recently given birth, and it made the experience feel even more special.

News I never wanted to receive

During a routine check-up, around 15 weeks, we waited while our doctor seemed to take an extended amount of time to find our baby’s heartbeat. I could see the concern growing on his face and what followed were the most devastating words I had ever heard: “I’m sorry, but there is no heartbeat.”

In those following moments, through uncontrollable tears, I asked every question I could think of. Could this be something I ate? Or drank? My workout? My stress level? Could this be related to anything on my husband’s side of the equation? The explanations to all my questions were “No. Nope. Nope. It just happens. It just happens. It’s very common.” I left the office completely devastated. Not only were there no answers or explanations, but I wasn't given any guidance to help me in moving forward.    

This unexpected loss left me overwhelmed by shock, grief and anger. After the miscarriage, I entered a dark period. I blamed myself, and carried heavy guilt and shame. I replayed everything I did up until the moment I was told we had lost the pregnancy. I replayed how we told our families, and now we’d have to find a way to tell them this.

Pregnancy loss made me question every aspect of my lifestyle, and I kept wondering if my work stress, diet, or exercise routine had contributed to our miscarriage. Was there something underlying in my health that could have caused the miscarriage? I silently carried this internalized guilt, which led me to withdraw from friends and family. Turns out, I was unknowingly experiencing a severe form of postpartum depression.

I didn’t know how to handle everything I was feeling, so I doubled down and focused on work. I was determined not to let my career suffer and I feared judgment from my co-workers. I returned to work shortly after a very traumatic D&C procedure to complete the miscarriage with no more answers than when we started. We had genetic testing done following the D&C, and there was nothing that pointed us towards a likely cause. I suppressed my emotions and tucked my grief away, and threw myself into work, where I felt I had that control and order I so sorely lacked. I didn’t want to be seen as weak to those around me, but inside, I was suffering.

Laying a foundation to move forward

After my miscarriage, I started digging deeper into my health. It was Ronit who encouraged me to have my thyroid function checked, and while everything came back "normal" by conventional standards, I learned there can be a big difference between those ranges and the ones used in functional medicine. That shift in perspective was eye-opening.

Over a six month period, I continued to see specialists and have lab testing done in an effort to find answers and guidance. I was soon diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an autoimmune thyroid disorder, and in working with my endocrinologist,  I began a low dose of thyroid medication, which made a big difference. With Ronit’s incredible support, and her experience working in the functional medicine space,  I also began taking supplements to assist in replenishing my nutrient stores and lay the foundation for us to try again to conceive. 

Related: Hashimoto's wasn’t part of my pregnancy plan

My husband and I also began making changes together, cleaning up our eating and lifestyle habits. We cut out gluten and dairy, however, at the time we hadn’t considered that his lifestyle and diet could impact our chances of having a healthy pregnancy. Our OBGYN had told us it was all about “the strongest swimmer” and implied there wasn’t much my husband could do to make a difference, so we continued to focus on my health.

Working toward pregnancy after miscarriage 

About six months later, after giving my body time to heal and getting my thyroid balanced, I got pregnant again with our first daughter, Dalia.

During this pregnancy, I was consumed by fear and anxiety. Every appointment filled me with worry, and the time between each one felt unbearable as I anxiously waited to check in on our baby. 

About midway through my pregnancy, we were presented with another challenge—I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I initially felt that familiar deep sense of shame, convinced I had done something wrong. But as challenging as it was, it ended up being one of the best things for me. What I realized was I thought I was doing all the things that were healthy and the “right things” but I wasn’t doing it in an optimal or balanced way. For example, I craved fruit all the time, and fruit is healthy, right? 

Well, fruit is great as it’s loaded with antioxidants and fiber, but I didn’t realize that eating fruit on its own was causing dysregulation, or giant spikes and drops, in my blood sugar and leading me to crave it more. I had no idea unbalanced blood sugar was so impactful to my health (I know it still feels wild to say it out loud). This taught me how to pair foods to support balanced blood sugar, ensuring I always had a source of protein or fat alongside the fruit I craved. 

The same realization happened when it came to exercise. I was getting a workout early in the day, but then I sat behind a desk, rarely moving, for hours on end. I began to implement more movement by taking walks after meals to support balancing my blood sugar and helping my muscles to be more insulin sensitive. This became a healthy habit and part of my daily self-care. Though it was difficult at first, this experience pushed me to prioritize my health during pregnancy, and I ultimately delivered a healthy baby with a normal birth weight.

Related: Understanding and managing gestational diabetes: Everything you need to know

Experiencing loss a second time—and a newfound sense of strength

In early 2020, I became pregnant again, only to experience another heartbreaking miscarriage. Just a week later, Ronit went through the same devastating loss. Coming from the functional medicine world and being so deeply in tune with her health, Ronit’s miscarriage shocked us both and set off alarm bells. For me, I initially took it as to be expected—part of the deal, a painful reality that happens sometimes. But it wasn’t that simple.

This miscarriage was easier in some ways and much harder in others. I had a child who needed her mother and it forced me not to be consumed by my sadness because I wanted to show up and be present with her. I knew my body was capable of carrying a baby to term, and I needed to allow myself time to heal. The experience was made harder by the circumstances of the pandemic. I had to go through another traumatic D&C completely alone because my husband wasn’t allowed to be with me. I felt every bit of it, physically and emotionally. 

This loss happened at about 10 weeks, and after the procedure, we had genetic testing done. The results revealed the likely cause—genetic abnormalities, specifically Turner’s syndrome. While this provided some answers, the grief lingered, heavier this time.

After this second miscarriage, with the unwavering support of Ronit, I began to understand that there was more to the story—particularly the role men play in fertility. Sharing my experience with others brought a surprising sense of connection. I learned that many people close to me, including my own mother, had experienced miscarriages, something I had never known. The realization that so many of us carry this grief silently gave me a strange kind of strength and inspired me to dive deeper into understanding fertility and pregnancy loss.

Discovering the gender gap in infertility

Ronit and I began researching everything we could, trying to process our grief and uncover answers. It became clear that fertility wasn’t just about the woman—it was about both partners. I’ll never forget the day Ronit called me and shared something that sent chills through me: 50% of miscarriages are linked to sperm quality, a fact that isn’t widely discussed and my husband had never been evaluated anywhere along the way. That revelation sparked a shift in our thinking. 

Why was no one talking about this? Why aren’t men being advised to take care of themselves nutritionally, to supplement with antioxidants, when it could potentially quadruple their chances of helping their partner have a healthy pregnancy?

This realization fueled our determination to dig deeper. Fertility is not a burden that women should shoulder alone, and it’s time for the conversation to reflect that truth.

The strain on relationships

Another aspect I see rarely talked about openly is the strain fertility places on both partners, as well as strains within extended family and friendships. Experiencing a miscarriage can place incredible stress on a relationship, affecting both partners in deeply personal and often very different ways. 

Our first miscarriage was probably the most heartbreaking for me because I didn’t have children yet and feared I might never be able to. I was past the first trimester, and we believed we were in the clear. We had shared the happy news with family, friends, and co-workers, only to be devastated when we lost the baby. The pain was overwhelming, and recovering from it felt nearly impossible.

The losses affected my husband and me in completely different ways. After the first miscarriage, I channeled my grief into seeking answers, while he needed space to process—or perhaps avoid—the pain we were both feeling. 

By the time we faced our second miscarriage, we had a toddler at home who needed us, and the dynamic shifted. My husband really stepped up to support not just me but also our daughter. On the day I was home processing the trauma of my second D&C procedure, he gave her an incredible daddy-daughter day, creating lasting moments of joy amidst the sorrow.

Following the second loss, he became more open to the research that Ronit and I had uncovered about potential lifestyle factors affecting pregnancy. I think he needed to see the evidence for himself—that these factors matter—and his acceptance grew when it came from multiple sources rather than just me. 

We both realized that making certain changes for a couple of months, not indefinitely, could make a big difference in outcomes. These experiences, though deeply painful, underscored how loss can test and transform a relationship in unexpected ways.

 A path to healing and discovery 

Determined to improve our chances of a healthy pregnancy, my husband and I adopted comprehensive lifestyle changes. We focused on nutrient-dense diets, regular exercise, stress management, and eliminating environmental toxins. Recognizing that we had the opportunity to optimize sperm health as sperm regenerates approximately every 80 days, my husband committed to health improvements during this critical period. Using these combined efforts we aimed to enhance both our egg and sperm quality, and addressed our fertility journey with shared responsibility. 

Here are some of the changes we committed to: 

Dietary adjustments:

• Followed a gluten-free, dairy-free diet since studies suggest it may help lower antibody levels and ease Hashimoto’s symptoms
• Focused on eating selenium-rich foods to support thyroid function and potentially reduce antibody levels
• Avoided processed foods and sugar to promote overall health

Stress management:

• Made time for meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises to help manage stress, which can worsen autoimmune conditions
• Committed to regular mindfulness or meditation practices
• Aimmed for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to support overall well-being

Nutritional support:

• Selenium supplements to boost thyroid health
• Optimized vitamin D levels, as deficiency is common in Hashimoto's and supplementation might help alleviate symptoms
• Supported gut health with probiotics could help reduce inflammation and enhance immune function
• My husband implemented a supplement protocol that contained high levels of antioxidants that later would become part of our formulation of WeNatal for Him
• Ronit and I knew the prenatal vitamins that we were currently taking fell short of necessary nutrients, like iron, so on top of our prenatal we added additional supplements that would soon become our formulation for WeNatal for Her and Egg Quality+

Consistent movement:

• Engaged in moderate, low-impact exercises to improve my overall health and support my thyroid
• Incorporated strength training as part of my routine to help maintain metabolism

Reduce exposure to toxins:

• Switched to natural cleaning products to limit exposure to harmful chemicals
• Filtered drinking water will help reduce toxin intake
• Avoided plastics that contain BPA to support hormonal health.

Empowered by hope: Pregnancy after two miscarriages

Eventually, I got pregnant for the fourth time. Again, it wasn’t easy and I carried a lot of fear and anxiety from my past losses—but I also felt empowered by the knowledge and changes we had made. 

This journey taught me that fertility is a shared responsibility and that both partners play a crucial role.

When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes again in this pregnancy, I returned to the foundation I had created. I prioritized making balanced meals and getting consistent movement throughout the day. I knew that I wanted these lifestyle habits to not only be a part of this pregnancy, but I wanted them to be the healthy foundation and example that I would lay for my children long term. 

​​My second, healthy and happy daughter and Ronit’s second daughter were born 2 months apart. What started with a massive loss and darkness ended up inspiring our mission to help create healthy little humans and to share our story. That's what spurred the birth of WeNatal. 

A note from WeNatal on pregnancy after miscarriage

Inspired by our shared experiences, Ronit and I co-founded WeNatal, a movement supporting couples with clean, science-backed prenatal supplements and resources we wish we would have had. My story isn’t just about loss—it’s about hope, healing, and the power of taking control of your health. It’s about breaking the silence, strengthening relationships, and supporting each other through one of the most challenging and life-altering experiences. Ronit and I  hope that our stories transform pregnancy loss into hope, empowering families on their fertility journey, helping them realize they're not alone.

Related: Optimizing fertility at any age: Ronit's story

References

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Liontiris MI, Mazokopakis EE. A concise review of Hashimoto thyroiditis (HT) and the importance of iodine, selenium, vitamin D and gluten on the autoimmunity and dietary management of HT patients.Points that need more investigation. Hell J Nucl Med. 2017;20(1):51-56. 

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