I founded a diaper company. I still couldn't figure out how to feed my own babies

At my peak I was making close to eighty ounces of milk a day, and I still spent most of that time convinced I was failing at feeding my baby. I know how that sounds. I am an engineer. Six years ago I founded Kudos, a diaper company built around a one hundred percent cotton liner, I pitched it on Shark Tank, and I will happily corner you at a dinner party with opinions about diaper absorbency that nobody asked for.

I think about babies for a living, and I still had no idea what I was doing when it came to feeding my own. If you have ever felt that same gap between how feeding is supposed to go and how it actually feels, whether you are nursing, bottle feeding, or deep in the world of exclusive pumping, this is the part of the story nobody prepared me for.

RELATED: What to eat while nursing: nutrition for breastfeeding support

Feeding a baby rarely follows the tidy script we are handed, and exclusive pumping, oversupply, and clogged ducts are far more common than most new parents realize. Support in this season is not only about making more milk. It is about caring for the person producing it, through rest, help from a partner or an IBCLC, nutrient-dense food, and a comprehensive postpartum or prenatal supplement that fills the gaps a depleting season creates. Breastfeeding, pumping, formula, and combination feeding all count, and no single method makes you a better or worse parent.

Key takeaways

• Exclusive pumping is a demanding, often invisible form of feeding. It adds work on top of feeding rather than replacing it, and it can be emotionally heavy even when supply is abundant.

• Oversupply is not the easy problem people assume it is. It can bring clogged ducts, pain, and the ongoing worry of mastitis, and there is rarely a comfortable way to talk about it.

• Perceived or actual low supply is one of the most common reasons parents stop breastfeeding earlier than they intended, which is why so much feeding support focuses on volume alone.

• The most overlooked part of feeding support is the parent. Mood, recovery, and the real nutritional demands of making milk all deserve attention, not just ounces.

When breastfeeding didn't work

My mom told me breastfeeding had been easy for her. My mother-in-law said the same. That was pretty much all I knew, so I assumed it would be easy for me too.

Then my first daughter arrived at thirty six weeks and six days, after my uterus ruptured and I needed an emergency C-section. I was recovering from something genuinely scary, and almost immediately the question became how we were going to feed this baby.

She would not latch, despite multiple lactation consultants, more appointments once we got home, and a tongue tie that we had addressed. Because I am an engineer, I went straight into problem solving mode. I analyzed everything and kept believing there had to be an answer we simply had not found yet. There was not, and I became an exclusive pumper almost overnight.

RELATED: Postpartum nutrition and 4th trimester recovery

What is exclusive pumping, and why is it so hard?

Exclusive pumping means feeding your baby your breast milk entirely through a pump and bottle rather than nursing at the breast. Parents come to it for many reasons, including latch difficulties, a NICU stay, a tongue tie, pain, or simple preference, and it is a completely valid way to feed a baby.

What I had not understood is that pumping does not replace feeding your baby. It gets added on top of it. My husband split everything with me fifty fifty. I would pump, he would give her a bottle and get her settled, I would wash all the tiny plastic parts, I would pump again, and then we would start over a few hours later. It was basically a second baby, except this one was plastic, loud, woke me every three hours, and never smiled back at me.

Because she was born early and bottle-fed, I could also see exactly how much she drank, which meant I did math all day long. Was that enough? Should she have taken more? Being able to measure every feeding did not make me less anxious. It just gave me more numbers to obsess over.

What does breast milk oversupply actually feel like?

Oversupply is when your body consistently makes more milk than your baby needs, and it is not the effortless win people assume it is. I turned out to be a major oversupplier, making between sixty and eighty ounces a day. People hear that number and imagine everything must have been easy.

I was deeply grateful to have enough milk. Oversupply also came with constant clogs, real pain if I ran even a little late pumping, and the ongoing fear of mastitis. There is no normal way to complain about making too much milk, so most of the time I simply did not.

I took sunflower lecithin constantly, and a Haakaa with Epsom salt was the thing that helped me most with the clogs. On top of all of it, I had hidradenitis suppurativa, or HS, which caused painful boils and cysts under my breasts, in my armpits, and around my C-section scar. I was getting steroid injections every week, and the pump sat directly against areas that were already inflamed. Pumping hurt, and delaying it hurt too.

At nine weeks postpartum I stopped so I could go on antibiotics for the HS, though it took another five weeks to fully wean because I was producing so much. The freezer stash fed my daughter for another five or six months with very little formula. I was grateful for that, and I was also completely depleted.

A quick note on clogs and lecithin: sunflower lecithin is widely used by parents and lactation professionals, and the evidence for it rests more on clinical experience than on large controlled trials. Recurrent clogs, pain, or any signs of mastitis are worth a conversation with an IBCLC or your provider rather than something to push through alone.

Doing it all over again

Before my second daughter, I went through two failed IVF transfers. It was a heavy, disorienting season. Around that same time I started taking WeNatal, and the following month I found out I was pregnant, which was a complete and joyful surprise.

I want to be honest about what that does and does not mean, because I am an engineer and I care about this. I have no way of knowing why it happened when it did, and I would never tell anyone that a supplement made me pregnant, because that is not how any of this works. Supplements do not cause or guarantee pregnancy. What I can say is that nourishing my own body was one of the few things that felt within my control during a stretch when so little did, and that the timing is a tender memory I will always carry.

Then my second daughter was born, and she would not latch either. I started pumping fewer times a day, determined to avoid another major oversupply, but my body did not care about my plan. I had the same volume, the same clogs, the same pain, and the same HS flares, and I stopped again at nine weeks.

At three months she developed a severe bottle aversion, which was terrifying, because a bottle was the only way she had ever eaten. After lactation consultants, GI doctors, occupational therapists, and our pediatrician, what finally helped was the Rowena Bennett method. I followed it exactly and it worked. Every child is different, so please take that as one mother's experience rather than a prescription, but if your baby suddenly starts refusing bottles, it is something I would gently look into with your provider.

What I wish I had known about feeding support

Exclusive pumping is one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I built a company from nothing. I still feel like I have a little PTSD from the pumps.

What stayed with me most is how much feeding support focused on making more milk, while so little of it focused on the person producing it. That whole person lens is what resonates with me about WeNatal's Milk + Mood.

I clearly did not need help making more milk. What I appreciate is that it looks beyond supply alone and also considers mood and emotional wellbeing, healthy milk flow, and the real nutritional demands of producing milk. It includes phosphatidylcholine from sunflower, a nutrient many lactation professionals reach for to help support healthy milk flow, which stood out to me after all the sunflower lecithin I had leaned on. I think of an ingredient like that as one supportive piece of a bigger picture rather than a fix, and the honest truth is that its use rests more on clinical experience than on large trials. What I wish I had known back then is that support could look at the whole experience that way, not just the ounces.

RELATED: Essential nutrients for fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, and breastfeeding

How can you support yourself, not just your supply?

The most helpful shift I made was to stop treating feeding as a performance to optimize and start treating my own recovery as part of the plan. If you are in the thick of it, here are the things I wish someone had put in front of me sooner.

• Care for the person, not only the volume. Rest when you can, eat real meals, hydrate, and let someone else hold the baby so you can close your eyes. Undereating and running on empty are common and overlooked, and nourishment genuinely comes first.

• Bring in the experts early. An IBCLC can help with latch, pumping schedules, oversupply, and clogs, often faster and more kindly than trial and error at three in the morning.

• Protect your mood, not just your milk. Nutrients like choline, which transfers through breast milk to support your baby's developing brain, and ingredients studied for mood and emotional wellbeing are worth understanding as part of postpartum care. Magnesium can support sleep, stress resilience, and recovery during this stretch as well.

• Keep a comprehensive supplement in your routine. Pregnancy and lactation draw heavily on your reserves, so continuing a well formulated prenatal or postnatal such as WeNatal for Her can help fill the gaps a busy, depleting season makes hard to cover with food alone.

• Let go of the scoreboard. Fed is the goal. Breastfeeding, pumping, formula, and combination feeding all count.

For a fuller roadmap through these first months, WeNatal’s Postpartum Guide walks through the nutrients, habits, and gentle next steps that support your body after birth.

A note for partners from WeNatal

I could not have done any of this without my husband, who truly split the work fifty fifty, from bottles to bottle washing to the middle of the night shifts. Feeding, and especially exclusive pumping, is far too much for one person, and a partner is one of the most protective things a new parent can have.

If you are the partner in this season, a few of the most meaningful ways to help are:

• Take on bottle feeds and overnight duties so the pumping or nursing parent can get longer stretches of sleep.

• Own the invisible labor, including washing pump parts, restocking supplies, and tracking appointments.

• Keep water and nutrient-dense snacks within reach of the feeding or pumping spot.

• Watch for signs of postpartum mood struggles, and gently encourage professional support when it is needed.

At WeNatal we believe both partners matter across the entire journey, from preconception through postpartum. Feeding a baby is a shared job, and sharing it is not a luxury.

When should you talk to a provider or IBCLC?

Feeding support and good nutrition are helpful, and they are not a substitute for medical care. Please reach out to an IBCLC or your healthcare provider if you experience any of the following:

• Recurrent clogged ducts, or any signs of mastitis such as a warm, red, painful area, fever, or feeling unwell

• Pain with pumping or nursing that does not improve with support

• A baby who suddenly refuses the bottle or breast, is not gaining weight, or has fewer wet diapers

• Worry about supply, whether it feels like too little or too much

• Persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, numbness, or any intrusive thoughts, which deserve prompt attention

If you are ever in crisis or worried about your safety, contact your provider or local emergency services right away. Postpartum mood struggles are common and treatable, and reaching out is a sign of strength.

Frequently asked questions

Is exclusive pumping harder than breastfeeding?

For many parents it can feel harder, because pumping is added on top of feeding rather than replacing it. You still bottle feed the baby, and then you pump, clean parts, and store milk on a schedule. It is a valid and loving way to feed, and it is also genuinely demanding, so support and shared labor matter a great deal.

What causes breast milk oversupply, and is it a problem?

Oversupply happens when your body makes more milk than your baby needs, sometimes due to hormones, very frequent milk removal, or individual physiology. It is not dangerous in itself, but it can bring clogged ducts, discomfort, and a higher risk of mastitis, so it is worth working with an IBCLC to find a comfortable balance.

Does sunflower lecithin help with clogged ducts?

Many parents and lactation professionals use sunflower lecithin to help with recurrent clogs, and phosphatidylcholine is thought to support healthy milk flow. The honest answer is that the evidence rests largely on clinical experience rather than large controlled trials. It is generally considered low risk, and recurrent clogs still warrant a conversation with an IBCLC or provider.

Can nutrition or supplements help during breastfeeding?

Nutrition supports your energy, recovery, and the nutrient content of your milk, and a comprehensive prenatal or postnatal can help fill common gaps in a depleting season. Supplements are one supportive piece of the picture, not a replacement for adequate calories, hydration, rest, effective milk removal, or professional care.

What should I do if my baby suddenly refuses the bottle?

A sudden bottle refusal, sometimes called bottle aversion, can be frightening, especially for exclusively pumping families. It is worth looping in your pediatrician, and for some families a structured approach like the Rowena Bennett method has helped. Because causes vary, professional guidance is the safest starting point.

Do these nutrients matter if I am not breastfeeding?

Yes. Recovery draws on your nutrient stores whether or not you are breastfeeding, so nutrients that support energy, mood, tissue repair, and rest still matter. The lactation-specific ingredients are most relevant if you are producing milk, but whole-body postpartum nourishment supports every parent.

RELATED: What to know about magnesium for postpartum

A note from WeNatal on feeding baby

We have made real progress in recognizing how much nutrition matters before and during pregnancy. Now it is time for feeding and postpartum support to catch up, and for that support to look at the whole person, not just the milk.

If feeding your baby feels hard, even when it looks like it is going well to everyone else, you are not failing. Breastfeeding, pumping, formula, and combination feeding all count. The goal is a nourished baby and a supported parent, because you matter in that equation too.

Our WeNatal Postpartum Guide was created to help you navigate this season with a research-informed roadmap for nourishment, recovery, feeding, mood, nutrient replenishment, and the many changes that come with the first months after birth.

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