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“Fertile Confidence”: What is it and how to cultivate more when you’re trying to conceive

“Fertile Confidence”: What is it and how to cultivate more when you’re trying to conceive
Fertile Confidence is best described as staying aligned with the most positive beliefs about your ability to achieve successful pregnancy and become a parent. Women struggling with infertility will naturally find it harder to muster this form of self-assurance, as each cycle churns feelings of failure, frustration, despair, and worry.


Similar to healthy self-esteem, Fertile Confidence is revealed in women who show resolve during challenging times, have faith in their bodies despite disappointments and feel okay to speak of a future life that includes, but isn’t limited to, being a mother. A woman who has her Fertile Confidence intact somehow “knows” she will someday mother a child (even if her journey thus far has been long and arduous).


Fertile Confidence can be strengthened and intentionally developed. Much like sculpting our muscles to maintain a physique and muscle tone, it takes a commitment and practice. 

If you’re trying to get pregnant there are opportunities each day to “work out” the mental muscles needed to reframe infertility. You CAN build more Fertile Confidence, and in doing so, you improve your ability to conceive, carry, and nurture a healthy child.


Here are 3 recommendations to help you increase your Fertile Confidence:


  • Look at your current relationships. Who, what, and where are you nurturing already? Think about your partner, your friendships, any pets, plants, coworkers, areas of your home and schedule when you practice self-care, etc. Viewing these established relationships with the mindset that they’re demonstrations of your ability to “mother” will help you affirm that you are plenty capable of nurturing a child. 


  • Along your journey to baby, ask where you’re making progress? (ex. Are you cultivating a new appreciation for your partner? Feeling better about the process in general? Or maybe releasing a few more eggs or creating more normal embryos in IVF than previous attempts?) There are so many steps along the way to baby. Being able to pause occasionally to assess where you are succeeding will help you find the stamina to reach the finish line.


  • Building upon the idea that there is inherently something RIGHT about you, consider all the ways infertility is increasing your resilience. By insisting that you become more consciously connected to the good that’s happening, instead of hyper-focusing on what’s gone dreadfully wrong, you might choose to understand that this time in your life will ultimately strengthen you in ways you can’t yet know or appreciate.


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Dr. Danica Thornberry

Dr. Danica Thornberry

Dr. Danica Thornberry is the founder of @SeedFertility, a unique mind-body-diet-lifestyle online program that empowers women with daily insights and wisdom regarding what to eat and how to think each day of their cycle. A fertility-focused acupuncturist with a science background, Danica has helped thousands of women reach their goal of motherhood since 2001. She's the author of Stick It to Me, Baby! -- an inspiring collection of fertility success stories, and she's the founder of @WellWomenAcupuncture, located in Brentwood, CA. Danica has two children against big odds. Her personal story and hard-won wisdom inspires anyone struggling along the path to baby.

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